The Autism Society Event and Education Recordings Archive

Acceptance doesn't mean giving up. It’s not making war or peace with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). It means doing our best as a family living day-by-day. It also means taking care of everyone’s needs while finding the elusive balance. Changing what we can and letting go of what we cannot. There are many misconceptions about acceptance.  Recently autism awareness month has expanded its scope to autism awareness and acceptance. This presentation will explore what the concept of acceptance means in terms of living with autism in the family.

Acceptance does not mean giving up. It does not mean wanting or liking autism or other special needs.  It does not mean resignation. It does not mean giving up on life or possibilities. Likewise, acceptance does not mean curing or making the problems associated with autism go away. It does mean finding balance in the family while celebrating progress.

On the other hand, acceptance is about opening up to the thoughts feelings and experiences of being a different kind of family from what was expected. So accepting autism means opening to the sad and the sweet in life, to the possibilities and the alternatives, as well as the deep and profound lessons that come with really hard experiences.

Acceptance means being present in our interactions, but this is not always easy. When you love someone you love to be with him or her, but children with autism are often hard to be with. We do not have the power to make all the problems go away, but we do have the possibility of finding joy in the relationship where we do have some control. 

Being present means starting where the child is—watching, waiting, and observing with patience to find something to build on. It may not be what a parent or sibling imagined. Being interested in what your child is interested in is key. To ask a child to enter our world, we have to enter his first. Real life with a child with ASD is different from the Hollywood version. The therapies are essential, and there is progress, but more often than not there is no magical transformation.

The evidence indicates that resilience is growing, and children with ASD need resilient families. Resilient families become stronger despite adversity. Resilience includes family connectedness and closeness, positive meaning-making of the disability, spiritual and personal growth. A considerable number of families of children with ASD report becoming stronger.

Living with autism can help families to build resilience, the ability and skills to bounce back under stress. The components of resilience include:

• Relationships with mutual, long-lasting, bonds.
• Initiative to make positive choices and decisions and act upon them.
• Self-control to experience a range of feelings, and express them using appropriately.

All of the treatment approaches for autism occur within a family context and require a dynamic approach to acceptance and developing resilience for each family member including the child/children with ASD to achieve the maximum development and happiness possible. 

1. Introduction                                                                                        5 min.
2. Understanding the concept of acceptance from psychology              15 min.
3. Being present during difficult times                                                    15 min.
4. Building a positive relationship with the child with ASD                     15 min.
5. Developing resilience                                                                         15 min.
6. Questions                                                                                          10 min.

Learning Objectives: