The Autism Society Event and Education Recordings Archive

Letter from Peer

It makes me sad when my friends with autism are standing alone. I bet they feel invisible, angry, sad, or lonely. I know I would feel the same if I were alone at lunch, recess, gym and science. I can ask if they want to play with me at recess when they're just standing alone.

Objective

This session highlights how to help individuals with autism become involved in social activities in their schools, communities and via social technology. This will help build their social lives and social skills to improve the quality of their lives through the social relationships and friendships they develop.

Agenda

•         Organized programs and activities to participate in or develop in the community and at school

•         Creating an action plan-MAPS process

•         Creating a “Circle of Friends”

In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, our need for social belonging comes right after our need for physical safety and survival.

Importance of Social Skills

•         Predictive of job success in adulthood

•         Associated with better mental health

•         Associated with a decrease in problematic behavior

•         Ongoing relationships help us understand others

Interactive Activity

Think back to your high school or college days and think of your favorite memory. Raise your hand if your favorite memory contained something you participated in socially or a relationship you formed.

•         Friendships represent a significant and important role in most of our lives.

•         Developing and maintaining those relationships seems to come naturally for most of us, something we were born knowing how to do.

•         However, friendship building is difficult for some.

Letter from Peer

I've been through many friendships. When I saw Jacob being picked on, it reminded me of tough times. Then it reminded me of how much it hurt when people picked on me. Ever since that experience, our connection has grown, and I know this is one of the best friendships I have had or will ever have. Just because someone may be different in some ways doesn't mean the person doesn't have likes, dislikes, interests, friends and such. So, my friend has autism. This makes it difficult and challenging for him to relate to others.That doesn't mean Jacob's not a person with feelings and thoughts. I can say with all honesty this friendship is a TRUE friendship.

Autism impacts

·         Communication

·         Socialization

·         Sensory

Common social challenges

•         Communication difficulties (verbal or nonverbal)

•         Initiating and/or maintaining interactions

•         Responding to social interactions

•         Understanding emotions of self and/or others

•         Understanding perspectives

Lets see how easy it is for you to make a friend while experiencing a challenge with communication, theory of mind and sensory challenges.

1. Communication Activity

2. Theory of Mind Activity

3. Sensory Activity

Letter from Peer

I meet my friend Louis at the beginning of 2nd grade. It only took me a few minutes to figure out that he was different. He squirmed and wiggled in his desk, couldn't stop talking, fooled around with toys at his desk, and peed in the grass outside. He enjoyed playing our games at recess, but he never understood the rules or even what game we were trying to play. Louis was my friend. Being his friend wasn't always easy, but it was good for me. You never knew what Louis would do next, and it kept things interesting. An afternoon spent with Louis was never boring. It took me a long time to figure out that he couldn't change for me. I had to change for him. Mom says that he's helped me to be less selfish. Being a friend to anyone takes time and practice, but once I figured out how to be his friend, it was easy to spend time with him. What is it like to have a friend with autism? It's great.

Look for strengths and build social relationships around them.

Letter from Peer

Remember, the most important thing is that everybody's good at something. My friends with autism can be good at something too. My teacher said, “Don't judge a book by its cover.” That means everybody has hidden beauty. My friends with autism have hidden beauty!

Opportunities to Socialize

•        Social Networking

–        Facebook

–        Twitter

–        Online chat groups

–        Blogs

•        Sports (individual or team programs)

–        Recreation department

–        Adaptive programs

–        School teams

•        School

–        Set up play dates

–        Develop a Circle of Friends

•        Church

–        Adaptive programs

–        Parent can volunteer to teach

•        Organized Groups

–        Scouts, 4H etc…

–        Parent can volunteer to be leaders

•        Camps

–        Special interest topic

–        Adaptive

•        Classes

–        Music, art, etc.

•        Groups

–        Support group

–        Social skills group

–        Hobby group (interests in similar things - trains, auto racing, etc.)

•        Clubs

–        Best Buddies

Other ways to expand social network:

•        Get out with a pet

–        Seek out a dog park or make conversation with those who stop to talk.

•        Volunteer

–        Hospitals, places of worship, museums, community centers and other organizations

•        Join a cause

–        Group working toward a goal, such as an election or the cleanup of a natural area Newspaper article

Stay on the dotted white line. Keep your shoes tied. These used to be Collin's goals. He is a sophomore cross country runner who simply wanted to keep his shoelaces from coming undone and to not accidentally stray off the course. These goals might not seem like much in the way of competition, but Collin does not normally see in the color of the contest. Collin has autism. Abstract ideas like competing against the kid next to you are usually foreign to him. So are concepts like his favorites or why he might like or dislike something. His mind does not process information that way. "The social aspect of the everyday world is kind of alien to him," his mother said. Autism is a spectrum disorder that mainly affects communication and socialization skills.

Transition to different situations or environments can be difficult to adjust to. Collin usually talks only if he's spoken to and is better at asking a question than formulating an original thought. His social skills can appear to be non-existent. Because of that and his trouble with transition, his mother and father were worried about how he would go from middle school to high school, a social world unlike any other. The cross country coach helped the shift. He taught Collin in second grade and saw him at an event the summer before his freshman year. The coach asked if he would like to come out for cross country, thinking he could be team manager. It would be a good way to interact with people, the coach figured. But to the surprise of the coach and Collin's parents, he showed up to summer workouts not to hand out water bottles and tote towels, but to run. He did his best to stay with the pack during runs and never quit when he was tired, gaining respect and acceptance. So, the coach gave him a uniform and put him on the team. Collin’s mother realized just how much he enjoyed running when Collin had a doctor's appointment and could not make practice. On the way home, he and his mother were passing by the course, and the team was running. Collin saw them and spoke. "Collin is a man of little words," his mother said. "But he told me, 'Pull over, mom,' and he started getting out of the car to catch up with the team. He was in his street clothes. Collin also attended the Friday pasta dinners with the team. During those gatherings, the team states their personal goals. They'd usually skip Collin, who stayed quiet, but one day he spoke up with a goal of his own: stay on the dotted line. The team laughed a little at such a simple goal. Then later that season, Collin had another goal: keep his laces tied. This season, one of the team leaders went to the coach. He was inspired by Collin and told the coach that the team, one of the best in the state, sometimes takes the sport too seriously and puts too much emphasis on its competitive goals. "It's the simple things we need to think about," he told the coach. Earlier this season, Collin had a competitive and social breakthrough. His goals became competition-oriented. He said his goal was to pass everyone in front of him. That surprised the team and the coach, but not as much as the goal he set before the invitational. Collin was aware of his abilities and, for the first time ever, showed an interest in his personal time. He set a goal to run the 5,000-meter course quicker than 24 minutes. Then, with the coach shouting encouragement the final 300 yards, Collin finished in 23:49. He met his goal. His teammates gathered around trying to see if Collin broke 24 minutes. When they saw the time, they all offered their congratulations. He was obviously uncomfortable with the attention, but the smile cracked on his face. "Everyone was very happy for him," the coach said. "The guys felt what he did was the most impressive thing that happened at that meet, and we had 13 (personal records). To us, it appeared that he finally grasped the sport." Every Monday the team gives out an old, snug school jersey with No. 1 on it. It's given to the athlete who gave the best effort the previous week. Two days after the invitational, Collin received the jersey.

Special Olympics

Special Olympics is dedicated to empowering individuals with intellectual disabilities to become physically fit, productive and respected members of society.

Play Dates:

1. Get a list of kids in class and phone numbers.
2. Write a letter explaining reason for invitation to your home to play.
3. Start with who your child spends time with at school or ask teacher for recommendations.
4. Start with your home and limit the time.
5. Plan fun playtime and snack.
6. If needed, have adult facilitate interaction.
7. Don’t over-invite other child.
8. Expand to outings.

Best Buddies:

•         Matches students with disabilities with peers to create friendships

What makes it difficult for an individual to have a social life?

Make an Action Plan Activity

1. Who is the individual?
2. What are the individual's strengths, gifts and talents?
3. What does the individual need?
4. What can others offer?

Circle of Friends Activity

•         Group of people who agree to help an individual

•         Provides a framework for friendship building

Letter about Circle of Friends (Jean Shaw)

When my eldest son was 18, we bought him a second-hand car. When my youngest son reached the same age we bought him two second-hand videos from e-bay. Why? Well, my youngest son has autism and that was all he wanted. He did, however, have a party with about 100 people, which was something I'd never dreamed possible. Loud music and flashing lights would have been impossible a few years ago and so would crowds of noisy, happy people. But these weren't just any people. These were Jodi's friends! I would recommend a Circle of Friends. It may start off small, but it is surprising how quickly it can escalate. Anyone who truly cares about the well-being and future of an individual can really help empower that person to have a "voice," to build friendships, strengthen social networks and realize their dreams and ambitions. None of Jodi's friends would consider themselves "special," but we do. Individually, they are all wonderful but put them together in a Circle and the result is pretty amazing. Try it and see. Everyone needs friends!