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In 2006 as part of ASA's autism awareness month, ASW had an essay writing competition in Wisconsin's schools. Information about the contest was sent to all public schools in Wisconsin and on ASW's website. ASW received close to 1000 entries. 12 children were awarded recognition for their work. The contest was split into age ranges and three awards were given in each age range. Age ranges included kindergarten through grade two, grade three to five, grade six to eight and grades nine through twelve. Three prizes were given in each age range. Students who won the first, second or third prize in each age range received gift certificates and recognition. During our annual conference, we invited winners to read their essays during the noon luncheon. The following is four of the age group winners.

What does it mean to have a friend with autism?

Kindergarten to Grade 2 Winner

I have some friends with autism. I treat them how I want to be treated. It is important to remember that they're a person. You should treat them fair and not like a baby!

It makes me sad when my friends with autism are standing alone. I bet they feel invisible, angry, sad, or lonely. I know I would feel the same if I were alone at lunch, recess, gym, and science. I can ask if they want to play with me at recess when they're just standing alone.

I learned that people with autism have brains and bodies that work differently than mine. This helps me understand and help my friends with autism. My friend might be mad and start pinching, hitting, or screaming. A really good idea is to tell them to use their words. My friend with autism might also jump up and down or wiggle their arms.

I try to help them a little more and understand them a little more. When we are playing, my friend with autism might start not following the rules. That's the point when I should teach them the rules because they might not know them. Another example is at writing math, science, gym, LMC, computers, or anytime my friend might be struggling and then I should help them.

Sometimes at school, my friends with autism get to do special things like go to break room (also called a OT/PT room). In the break room, they play with toys or work with helpers. Some people think it's not fair. I think fair is not equal. Fair is when everybody gets what they need to learn. I worry it's not fair that they get assigned seats. It's also not fair when they get more money taken away for not following the rules.

Remember, the most important thing is that everybody's good at something. My friends with autism can be good at something too. My teacher said, “Don't judge a book by it's cover.” That means everybody has hidden beauty. My friends with autism have hidden beauty!

Grades 3-5 Winner

Friends are Friends

I meet my friend Louis at the beginning of 2nd Grade. It only took me a few minutes to figure out that he was different. He squirmed and wiggled in his desk, couldn't stop talking, fooled around with toys at his desk, and peed in the grass outside on recess. He enjoyed playing our games at recess, but he never understood the rules or even what game we were trying to play. It wasn't long before he had to start taking special education classes that took him out of our classroom.

Louis and I; however, were very much the same. We both loved school. Not just a little bit, but enough for us to get perfect attendance. We both loved talking with and interacting with other people. We were both great runners, and enjoyed a good chase or game of tag. We both loved art and drawing. But the most important thing that made us the same is that we loved to laugh.

Louis was fun, so Louis was my friend. Being his friend wasn't always easy, but it was good for me. You never knew what Louis would do next, and it kept things interesting. An afternoon spent with Louis was never boring. His imagination and energy kept me on my toes, and the lessons learned important. It took me a long time to figure out that he couldn't change for me. I had to change for him. Mom says that his helped me to be less selfish. Being a friend to anyone takes time and practice, but once I figured out how to be his friend, it was easy to spend time with him.

Louis and I said goodbye to each other twice. Once when we moved away, then once again after he moved back when I moved away. I don't' get to see him much anymore, and I miss him. I haven't been able to find anyone who can giggle like him, or can make me laugh as much. What is it like to have a friend with autism? It's great.

Grade 6-8 Winner

My Friend Jacob

I've been through many friendships. In the beginning, they seemed great but somehow most just didn't work out. When I saw Jacob being picked on, it reminded me of tough times. Then, it reminded me of how much it hurt when people picked on me. It immediately made me feel like I should help him. Ever since that experience, our connection has grown and I know this is one of the best friendships I have had or will ever have.

Just because someone may be different in some ways doesn't mean the person doesn't have likes, dislikes, interests, friends and such. So maybe my friend has autism. This makes it difficult and challenging for him to relate to others. Or difficult to ignore people when they say or do something that's unnecessary. That doesn't mean Jacob's not a person with feelings and thoughts.

I am there to support him by doing something as simple as telling someone to treat him the way they want to be treated. I try to comfort him and help him ignore the person. He knows that if he needs someone to talk to or spend time with I'll always be there.

Though just like in any other true friendship, he's there for me too. When I'm walking through the hallway with him someone might say something rude. He knows how it feels and tells them to stop and that it's not right. That's how I know that this friendship will go far.

Over time, I have noticed that our friendship has many qualities that keep us strong. We understand each other's Feelings and know we all go through tough times. But we Respect that and know that we're there for each other when we're having a hard day. The enjoyment I have when he tells me all these Interesting facts about science that he has learned. He fills my day with joy every minute I'm with him. These things show that our friendship is Everlasting and together we'll be there to Nurture each other as we come across any road block in our path. Together out Determination is unstoppable.

I've been through many friendships. In each I thought it was going to be the one that was going to stick. But somehow it didn't work. Jacob was different. He knew how it felt for me, just like I know how it feels for him. That's why I can say with all honesty this friendship is a TRUE friendship and together nothing will stop us.

Grade 9-12 Winner

I was all wrapped up in my pink blanket the day I met Jimmy. He was born exactly 6 hours and 21 minutes after me. I could only imagine our dads; sharing their most proud moment with their best friend. Looking back, I would've thought our parents would have planned this. But no, just one of God's sweet miracles.

Jimmy and I shared every minute together. Before I could walk Jimmy was by my side, when I could walk Jimmy was running, and before I could smile he was laughing. Sometimes, we spent long afternoons playing the memory game. He was always better than I, after all I could never remember where I put the last card. Jimmy could also spell ‘school' before kindergarten, while I was working on my name. Once I dared Jimmy to call 911… he did, and he took all the blame.

We were bubbly and wild five year olds, and Jimmy was my good friend. Once we started school Jimmy and I didn't see each other as much anymore. We were both seemingly ‘too busy'. Time and distance grew us apart and before we knew it, we were in third grade. That summer, Jimmy and my family were getting together for a cookout and I was so anxious to see my best friend. But this time, Jimmy seemed weird to me. He didn't want to eat hot dogs like the rest of us, he only wanted Spegittos and Cheetos. Jimmy didn't really talk much and he never wanted to come play with me. Our day together was finally over and the disappointments of Jimmy's actions were publicly displayed all over my face.

After Jimmy's family had left I asked my mom what was wrong with him. She explained to me that Jimmy has autism. She explained that he was a boy with special needs. At the time I didn't understand, I loved Jimmy and he was my friend. I didn't want anything to be “wrong” with him. Concerned about my friend, my mom began introducing me to what autism really was.

Over the next couple weeks, my mom and I began reading books about autism, so I could eventually understand the needs of my friend. I learned to accept the fact that as I gowe older, that Jimmy might not be able to hold a conversation with me, or go to the movies. I had to accept that Jimmy might never hug me or say I'm his best friend.

My dad once told me, “the way you can measure a friendship, is by the silent love shared amongst your hearts.” That's exactly the way my friendship with Jimmy is. Even though Jimmy can't say he loves me, I know he does. Every time I see Jimmy, or think about Jimmy I portray myself as a child, with an innocent and pure mind. Even though I am not sixteen…Jimmy is still one of my best friends. Jimmy has challenged my mind on the way I view people with disabilities. Even though he shows no physical emotion, he still has the most loving heart of anyone I've ever met. Jimmy has, and always will by my friend…forever.