The Autism Society Event and Education Recordings Archive

Male role models are important for children; boys and girls with ASD are no exception. Fathers are more involved than ever, and research backs up their impact on children. However, when a child has autism there are often steep challenges for the typical male parent. This presentation will draw on recent research (references below) on the potential for growth and overcoming the barriers that autism presents.

When you love someone you want to be with them, but children with autism can be hard to be with. Typical children are engaged every waking hour and easy to be with, but it's not easy to engage with a child on the spectrum. They often prefer to do the same things over and over again. Parents become easily exhausted or frustrated—not to mention feeling rejected and sad.

Even though there’s a huge potential for fathers to contribute positively to the development of children on the spectrum, many fathers feel powerless to engage in play with a child who has more repetitive and less varied play. Most fathers have a difficult time talking about their feelings especially when unable to fix the problem. 80% of children diagnosed with ASD are boys which can be especially difficult for fathers who expected a different kind of son.

This presentation will help fathers make a plan to go forward:

First, by acknowledging and sharing the spectrum of painful feelings including the sadness, hurt, frustration, anger, embarrassment, rejection, etc.

Second, by spending some time each day joining your child on the floor, at the table, the screen, or outdoors watching and following your child’s lead, having fun, and building connection.

Third, avoid focusing too much on behavior and trying to change someone with autism because this can suck the joy out of the relationship. It means paying attention and cultivating the moments we might overlook or ignore, when problems are absent, such as our children running to us when we get home.

Fourth, being an active partner in the parent-professional partnership is an opportunity for fathers to deepen their understanding of their child’s strengths and challenges and use their problem solving skills.

The science is in: wherever a child starts on the autism spectrum, with parent involvement and good services progress is possible; and father involvement makes a difference.

Objectives:

1. Understand recent research about the impact of fathers on child development, including children with autism.
2. Understand how the roles of fathers and mothers are changing, but how the traditional roles are still a barrier.
3. Promote strengthening of the father-child bond and develop and provide support for fathers, thereby strengthening families.

Outline:

1. Becoming a father: My Story 5 minutes

2. Summary of recent research 15 minutes

3. Understanding traditional male role norms 10 minutes

4. Strategies for helping fathers get more involved 10 minutes

5. Guy Talk: How to listen and talk to men 10 minutes

6. Building male involvement in school and community 10 minutes

7. Questions 15 minutes