9012 Leaving the Nest, Not Flying the Coop: Why Letting Go is So Important...and HARD!

Thursday, July 14, 2016: 12:30 PM-1:45 PM

Studio 7 (New Orleans Marriott)

Parents of people with ASD play many roles--cheerleader, advocate, social director… even bulldozer. Sometimes, family identities are so intertwined that growth and change seem impossible. Learn about WHY independence is so important for the whole family, what transition means for you, and how reclaiming your individuality benefits everyone.

This interactive workshop is designed for parents of young people with ASD. Parents can spend the majority of their child's school age years having to be their shadow, their voice, their friend, and so much more, often to the detriment of their own individuality, and relationships with others. Much research is focused on how to help young people prepare for and succeed in their transition toward independence, but less attention is paid to parents. In my work as a health educator, as well as an admissions counselor, I have seen numerous parents who are as terrified of their child's independence as they are eager for it. "If I no longer have to be Ben's teacher/coach/friend/motivator/advocate/everything, then who am I? What role do I play in our new relationship dynamic?" This workshop will give parents the chance to discuss the various roles they have been playing in their child's life, identify benefits to independence for their child, as well as personal benefits, and create a plan for transition towards reclaiming their individual identity that parallels the transition plan of their young person.

The work shop will be broken up into three segments. In the first segment, the participants will engage in a personal inventory, to determine the variety of roles they play, or have played, in the life of the young person, and have the opportunity to share with others. They will also do some brainstorming to visualize what their identity used to be, as well as who they envision themselves becoming in the future.

In part two, we will discuss research associated with "letting go" and healthy parent-child separation. Parents will learn that young people who are able to live independent from their parents are more likely to report better relationships with their family over time, while those who remain in their home are more likely to face isolation, lack of employment, and relational stress. During this segment, parents will brainstorm in large groups what the benefits are of independence for their children, as well as how raising independent children would make them feel. They will also brainstorm the benefits of a healthy transition for parents. Individually, participants will determine what 2 benefits of individuality and independence are most relevant personally.

Finally, we will discuss HOW this transition might work. Using a self-created "transition timeline," parents will map out the plan of attack for their young person's transition, and then create an overlapping timeline that reflects ways they will practice healthy letting go. Parents will create "bucket lists," of things they'd like to do, be, visit, see, or work on, and create a plan of how to begin achieving these goals. Finally, parents will practice ways to advocate for their own needs with their child, their partner and those around them. Participants will leave with goals for their student, goals and dreams for themselves, and an action plan for how to put their plan into motion.

Learning Objectives:

Describe various roles they as parents and caregivers have played in the life of their young person with ASD.
Identify 2 benefits independence will have for their child, and 2 benefits it will have for them.
Create a plan for their personal transition, that parallels the transition plan for their student.

Track: Lifespan 3 - Transition

Content Area: Self-Determination and Independence

Presenter:

Nina Jonson, BS-Education
Minnesota Life College

Nina Jonson has worked in the field of youth development for over a decade, focusing on sexuality and relationships for young people with special needs. A public speaker, presenter, and teacher, Nina has won awards for her innovative ways to teach students on the spectrum about love, dating and relationships.

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