The Autism Society Event and Education Recordings Archive

Men frequently react in extreme ways, and fathers of children with autism fit this pattern. They are either very involved or withdrawn and virtually absent from interactions with professionals. The majority seem uninvolved. So many professionals assume that fathers do not wish to be involved. Is this really the case, or do men cope differently and involve themselves differently?

Where were they? Usually they are at work making money to support their families or at home watching the children so that the women can attend meetings or appointments, while women as primary caretakers feel overburdened and stressed out. Men generally prefer to do things to help as opposed to connecting by talking about the stresses and strains of everyday life.

Until the 1970s, the role of fathers was largely ignored in the professional literature. While regarded as providers and protectors, fathers were not expected to be involved in day-to-day parenting, with the exception of discipline. In emphasizing the importance of mothers, social scientists lost sight of fathers. The word parent became synonymous with mother. This trend applied to fathers of children with disabilities (Lamb, 1997).

Flipin and Crais (2011) discussed the need for more effective father involvement in early autism intervention programming. Their review of the research indicated that fathers of today spend more time with their children and are more directly involved with their care. However, they are not more involved in early intervention programming. Mothers remain the almost exclusive participants in early intervention services resulting in high stress levels.

Flipin and Crais highlight the contributions and challenges of fathers. For example, the father’s use of higher level vocabulary and different communication style with children may complement that of the child’s mother. On the other hand, fathers are often frustrated by not knowing how to play with their children, but the active rough-and-tumble nature of father-child play can be instrumental in child development. Fathers reported that their child’s behaviors, such as tantrums, were the greatest source of stress.

Men respond better to having an action plan. So this session includes making an action plan to find something men enjoy doing with their child as well as how to get more involved in the day to day nurturing of their child with autism. Finally strategies to strengthen male involvement in school and community will be discussed.

Outline:

1. Becoming a father: My Story - 10 minutes

2. Understanding traditional male role norms - 10 minutes

3. Video clips of fathers - 10 minutes

4. Strategies for helping fathers bond with their children - 10 minutes

5. Guy Talk: How to listen and talk to men - 10 minutes

6. Building male involvement in school and community - 10 minutes

7. Questions - 15 minutes