The Autism Society Event and Education Recordings Archive

Participants in this interactive session will experience how challenges in the areas of communication, theory of mind and sensory processing contribute to difficulties in making social connections, especially when students are in middle and high school. Participants will learn how to help individuals with ASD become involved in social activities to build relationships and social lives, including the development of a Circle of Friends. Letters from peers highlighting the importance of having a friend with autism are shared. Today, students with disabilities enter the same building and walk the same hallways as their peers, but are very often left out of social activities.

Letter from Young Peer

"It makes me sad when my friends with autism are standing alone. I bet they feel invisible, angry, sad, or lonely.I know I would feel the same if I were alone at lunch, recess, gym, and science. I can ask if they want to play with me at recess when they're just standing alone."

Objective

This session highlights how to help individuals with special needs become involved in social activities in their communities to help build their social lives & social skills which could improve the quality of their lives through the relationships & friendships they develop.

Agenda

•         Organized programs & activities to participate in or develop in the community & school for your child

•         Creating a “Circle of Friends”

In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, our need for social belonging comes right after our need for physical safety and survival

Importance of Social Skills

•         Predictive of job success in adulthood

•         Associated with better mental health

•         Associated with a decrease in problematic behavior

•         On-going relationships helps us understand others

Activity

•         Think back to your high school or college days & think of your favorite memory.

•         Did anyone select participating in academic learning as their favorite memory?

•         Raise your hand if your favorite memory contained …

•         something you participated in socially

•         or a relationship you formed

•         Friendships represent a significant & important role in most of our lives.

•         Developing & maintaining those relationships seems to come ‘natural’ for most of us, something we were born knowing how to do.

•         However, friendship building is difficult for some.

Letter from Peer

I've been through many friendships. In the beginning, they seemed great but somehow most just didn't work out. When I saw Jacob being picked on, it reminded me of tough times. Then, it reminded me of how much it hurt when people picked on me. It immediately made me feel like I should help him. Ever since that experience, our connection has grown and I know this is one of the best friendships I have had or will ever have. Just because someone may be different in some ways doesn't mean the person doesn't have likes, dislikes, interests, friends and such. So maybe my friend has autism. This makes it difficult and challenging for him to relate to others. Or difficult to ignore people when they say or do something that's unnecessary. That doesn't mean Jacob's not a person with feelings and thoughts. I can say with all honesty this friendship is a TRUE friendship and together nothing will stop us.

Autism Impacts

·        Communication

·        Socialization

·        Sensory

Common social challenges

•         Communication difficulties verbal &/or nonverbal

•         Initiating &/or maintaining interactions

•         Responding to social interactions

•         Understanding emotions of self &/or others

•         Understanding perspectives

Lets see how easy it is for you to make a friend while experiencing communication, theory of mind and sensory challenges.

1. Communication Activity

2. Theory of Mind Activity

3. Sensory Activity

Letter from Peer

I meet my friend Louis at the beginning of 2nd Grade. It only took me a few minutes to figure out that he was different. He squirmed and wiggled in his desk, couldn't stop talking, fooled around with toys at his desk, and peed in the grass outside on recess. He enjoyed playing our games at recess, but he never understood the rules or even what game we were trying to play. Louis was my friend. Being his friend wasn't always easy, but it was good for me. You never knew what Louis would do next, and it kept things interesting. An afternoon spent with Louis was never boring. It took me a long time to figure out that he couldn't change for me. I had to change for him. Mom says that his helped me to be less selfish. Being a friend to anyone takes time and practice, but once I figured out how to be his friend, it was easy to spend time with him. What is it like to have a friend with autism? It's great.

Strengths

•         Look for strengths and build social relationships around them.

Letter from Peer

Remember, the most important thing is that everybody's good at something. My friends with autism can be good at something too. My teacher said, “Don't judge a book by it's cover.” That means everybody has hidden beauty. My friends with autism have hidden beauty!

Opportunities to Socialize

•         Sports/Work Out

–        Recreational, School or Adaptive

•         School

–        Set up play dates

–        Develop a Circle of Friends

•         Church

–        Adaptive programs

–        Parent can volunteer to teach

•         Organized Groups

–        Scouts, 4H etc…

–        Parent can volunteer to be leader

•         Camps

–        Special Interest topic

–        Adaptive

•         Classes

–        Music, Art etc…

•         Groups  -  form or join a

–        Support group

–        Social skills group

–        Hobby group

•         Interests in similar things (trains, auto racing, etc…)

•         Clubs

–        Best Buddies

Other ways to expand social network

•         Get out with a pet

–        Seek out a dog park or make conversation with those who stop to talk.

•         Volunteer

–        Hospitals, places of worship, museums, community centers and other organizations

•         Join a cause.

–        Group working toward a goal such as an election or the cleanup of a natural area.

Sports

•         Sports

•         Individual or Team Programs

–        Recreation Department

–        Adaptive Programs

–        School Teams

Example of athlete participating in school sports (article from newspaper)

Stay on the dotted white line. Keep your shoes tied. These used to be Collin's goals. He is a sophomore cross country runner who simply wanted to keep his shoelaces from coming undone and to not accidentally stray off the course. The goals might not seem like much in the way of competition, but Collin does not normally see in the color of the contest. Collin has autism. Abstract ideas like competing against the kid next to you are usually foreign to him. So are concepts like his favorites or why he might like or dislike something. His mind does not process information that way. When he was younger, he heard someone say he "loves McDonald's." He was baffled that someone could actually love a restaurant. The social aspect of the everyday world is kind of alien to him," his mother said. Autism is a spectrum disorder that mainly affects communication and socialization skills. Transition to different situations or environments can be difficult to adjust to. Collin usually talks only if he's spoken to and is better at asking a question than formulating an original thought. His social skills can appear to be non-existent. Because of that and his trouble with transition, his mother and father were worried about how he would go from middle school to high school, a social world unlike any other.  The cross country coach helped the shift. He taught Collin in second grade and saw him at a cycling event the summer before his freshman year. The coach spoke to him and asked if he would like to come out for cross country, thinking he could be team manager. It would be a good way to interact with people, the coach figured.But to the surprise of the coach and Collin's parents, he showed up to summer workouts not to hand out water bottles and tote towels, but to run. He did his best to stay with the pack during runs and never quit when he was tired, gaining respect and acceptance. So the coach gave him a uniform and put him on the junior varsity.Collin’s mother knew her son liked the sport and his team, although he never let her go to his meets or talk to his teammates. He got peeved at her once when she called a team gathering when it started to get late. "It would mortify him if I tried (to talk to his team)," his mother said through a chuckle. "I'm not sure if that's him being 16 or autism." Then one day last season she realized just how much he enjoyed running. Collin had a doctor's appointment and could not make practice. On the way home, he and his mother were passing by the course the team was running. Collin saw them and spoke. "Collin is a man of little words," his mother said. "But he told me, 'Pull over, mom,' and he started getting out of the car to catch up with the team. He was in his street clothes. "I sat there and was just astonished." It was shocking because Collin and many people with autism rarely show affection for something in that way. Collin also attended the Friday pasta dinners with the team. During those gatherings, the team states their personal goals. They'd usually skip Collin, who stayed quiet, but one day he spoke up with a goal of his own: stay on the dotted line.The team laughed a little at such a simple goal. Then later that season, Collin had another goal: keep his laces tied.This season, one of the team leaders went to the coach. He was inspired by Collin and told the coach the team, one of the best in the state, sometimes takes the sport too seriously and puts too much emphasis on its competitive goals."It's the simple things we need to think about," he told the coach.But earlier this season, Collin had a competitive and social breakthrough. His goals became competition-oriented, something his parents did not think was possible.He said his goal was to pass everyone in front of him. That surprised the team and the coach, but not as much as the goal he set before the Invitational. Collin was aware of his abilities and for the first time ever, showed an interest in his personal time.He set a goal to run the 5,000-meter course quicker than 24 minutes.Then, with the coach shouting encouragement the final 300 yards, Collin finished in 23:49. He met his goal.His teammates gathered around trying to see if Collin broke 24 minutes. When they saw the time, they all offered their congratulations. He was obviously uncomfortable with the attention, but the smile cracked on his face."Everyone was very happy for him," the coach said. "The guys felt what he did was the most impressive thing that happened at that meet, and we had 13 (personal records)."To us, it appeared that he finally grasped the sport."Every Monday the team gives out an old, snug school jersey with No. 1 on it. It's given to the athlete who gave the best effort the previous week.Two days after the Invitational, Collin received that jersey.

Special Olympics

Special Olympics is an international nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering individuals with intellectual disabilities to become physically fit, productive and respected members of society through sports training and competition.

Best Buddies

•         An international organization with more than 1,300 chapters.

•         In each of the 50 states.

•         Matches students with disabilities with other students to create friendships.

Circle of Friends

•         A group of people who agree to help an individual accomplish certain personal visions or goals.

•         The circle provides a framework for friendship building and learning, “It is OK to be different … we all are”.

•         Why develop a circle of friends?

•         Develops friendships & provides opportunities for learning social skills through peer relationships & direct instruction.

•         A regularly scheduled group will help a child in need of social skills develop an idea of what friendship can be about.

•         An added bonus to a group is that it helps peers understand the child with a disability, as well. 

•         How to develop a circle of friends

Letter from Parent written about Circle of Friends for her son.

Learning Objectives: