The Autism Society Event and Education Recordings Archive

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3835 Letting Go: When Your Child Leaves Home


Thursday, July 10, 2008: 12:30 PM-1:45 PM
Sun Ballroom C (Gaylord Palms Resort & Convention Center)
Most families realize that sooner or later someone else will need to provide for the daily--usually intense--needs of their son or daughter with autism. Even if they are, by choice, the main caregiver, they are faced with the awesome certainty of their own demise. Few people who are not parents of severely disabled children understand the pain of letting go when these sons or daughters leave home to be cared for by someone else. Even if the placement is one the family has carefully checked out and feel is a good choice, the deep grief of the separation is often not understood by the extended family. It is especially not often understood by most staff in the agency who will be serving the new client. A new documentary, "Letting Go,"* will be shown (3o minutes) and the two co-producers, Ruth Christ Sullivan and Michael Grady, will describe how four parents describe their feelings when, after years of waiting, they are offered a slot in a residential group home nearby. The footage is of events that really happened--parents speaking about what it was like to have made their decision. The discussion is aimed at helping parents, and professional direct-care staff, to understand deep grieving--the raw pain of the leaving--parents go through before and for a long time after the placement is made. We know of no other such document on this specific subject. ASA, in all its history, has had only one such presentation aimed at this subject (when a child leaves home). It was chaired then, also, by Ruth C. Sullivan. Introduction of Subject 15 minutes

View Documentary (DVD)  30 minutes

Discussion/Q&A    30 minutes

Learning Objectives:

  • Parents contemplating placement will get a preview of the emotional content of the event. It can help them understand they are not alone in their grieving
  • Staff, especially, will probably be surprised at the depth of feeling. They will better understand the deep emotional and delicate situation facing parents. They will be better equipped to support the parents.
  • Even with a careful designed and smooth transition-- sometimes the move is even happily anticipated by the son or daughter--the grief of hte parents is likely to be profound. This, too, can be a surprise to professionals and staff.

Content Area: Transition Planning and Options for Adulthood

Presenters:

Ruth Christ Sullivan, Ph.D.
Founder
Autism Services Center

Ruth Sullivan, Ph.D. is Founder/Executive Director of Autism Services Center in Huntington, WV, founder of National Association of Residential Providers for Adults with Autism and was the first elected president of the Autism Society of America. She has published books, book chapters, articles and for years was a columnist for the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disabilities. She was a consultant for “Rain Man” and her son, Joseph, an autistic savant, was one of the two major models for the character Raymond. In November 2005, she was appointed to the 32nd Institution on Rehabilitation Issues (IRI).

Michael Grady, M.A.
Chief Operations Officer
Autism Services Center

Michael started working for Autism Services Center in 1985 as a Direct Care Staff and is now, with the retirement of its' founder, Dr. Ruth Sullivan, ASC's CEO. Mr. Grady received his Master’s Degree in psychology from Marshall University in Huntington, WV.